Tim got a mind like vertical hold
Tim got a mind like vertical hold
Brad Weslake
“those who live by the sea do not hear the noise of the waves” (Viktor Shklovsky)
I can’t talk proper to Tim because Tim say ‘I got a mind like vertical hold’, like you know one of those old TV that you have to make sure the picture stay right on the screen. Tim always sayin’ he got a mind like vertical hold and sometime he don’t even finish that, he already doin’ somethin’ else. Tim, he use too much that speed and his mind, it can’t chase things it see, they sped up so fast. I say to Tim, ‘I think your mind like when you look out between cars in the train and things go past so fast you can’t see ‘em proper,’ and Tim he laugh. We sittin’ up on the bridge and just watchin’ ‘em, the trains. I look at him and I think it look like his body got vertical hold too, it can’t work out where it want to go, he all fidgety, watchin’ out far as he can see. The bridge warm from being out here in the sun all day. I can’t talk proper to Tim because Tim say ‘I got a mind like vertical hold’, and he don’t say much else. Watchin’ ‘em pass beneath, silver trains with people in ‘em, too fast to jump, they glint with sun like them fish we catch out on the rocks. Thinkin’ on them fish make me hungry like, but Tim now he tuggin’ at me and I see smoke way off, long slow coal train comin’. Tim he goin’ crazy like always, he like ridin’ coal more than most anythin’ else, always comin’ ‘round the house with that look in his eye. That look say, we gonna go jump coal trains today, and I always coverin’ my ears with my hands as we run, the mum always yellin’ and all that at me from back in the house, always. A mind like vertical hold, that was me that made that, me that put those words in Tim. He never say much but that now, me always with new words t’say to him and him always with showin’ me where to run. Sun it make coal hard to look at proper, like them rocks out with those fish when waves come up on ‘em. Train loud now and Tim he jumpin’ up, down, yellin’ ‘I got mind like vertical hold’, crazy, me laugh and shut my eyes to feel sun in them. Train rumble down there slow and Tim grab at me and we falling. Tim, he know just when to jump so we land right. And then we down there, on the train, it windin’ through houses and all that and the school, me and Tim laughin’ then like always. Tim with his mind like vertical hold don’t hold on words proper, in his head, but he sure’s hell can jump onto a train. Me, I think I got some other problem mean I don’t hold on things proper, in my head, ‘cause I see ‘em all slow like, bein’ why I can’t jump trains like Tim. Things in my head goin’ all slow like, turnin’ into words. What I like ‘bout today is how the colours are brighter ‘cause it summer and all, like how the sky it only get real deep blue at summer, and grass only get real deep green at summer, like someone out there fiddlin’ with colour and contrast to make seasons. Like you know one of those old TV that you have to make sure the colour stay right on the screen. Tim he like lookin’ at houses and people and that, while coal train take us down the sea, and sometime he laugh like crazy. Me, I gave up, don’t ask him why no more. And but me, I like lyin’ back on hot coal and lookin’ at the sky and sun, thinkin’ I floatin’ in a river or somethin’ like that. And thinkin’ ‘bout how Tim always with showin’ me where to run and me with words, words like joining things up in time like long slow coal train rumblin’. So me and Tim and the sun and the coal train takin’ us out to the sea. An the sun besides make everything look like it ripples like sea, it make my eyes want to shut, eyelids tryin’ to crawl down like them hot summer storms, crawlin’. Tim, he know when storms comin’, somehow, will point to sky and be laughin’ like it some joke only him and the sky up there get. And now here come the place we jump off with Tim standin’ up on the train like some surfer, and everythin’ seem to be slowin’ down as I shuttin’ my eyes, crawlin’, words comin’ slow into my eyes, but feel Tim tuggin’ on my hand superslow an eyes close an jump like in freezeframe, real slow and jerky like you know one of those old TV that you can slow down, and fall through air like it takin’ forever, air swimmin’ with words blurry like they need focus, and the air it feel cold even though I know it warm, should be, and I try to imagine the ground and the grass, try to make the words in my eyes into the ground and the grass and the deep green and I can’t, not until sudden-like we hit it, me an Tim, him laughin’ and my eyes snappin’ open and no words in my eyes, no more as we roll fast and faster down to the blue sea.