“how do you get underwater lights to automatically dim”

A question that has troubled some of the greatest minds of time immemorial..

“observing people at bus stops”

Our intrepid hero – let’s call him “Brad” – attempts to find an answer by conducting empirical research.

“develop a theory”

Over the next few weeks, Brad formulates concepts based on his participant observation.

“speculation in philosophy”

In attempting to get to the bottom of the underwater light problem many other theoretical concerns must be dealt with.

“poems about sex and skateboarding”

Even quite unlikely ones…

“stop reading and start writing”

Several more weeks of mental acrobatics later and the pressure is on to put some of this down on paper.

“problems with garbage”

As a result of having spent so much time on this utterly absorbing project, Brad let his housework slip far behind.

“money falling”

And not just his housework, but his after such a long time of concentrating on the big questions in life, our fateful protagonist realises that he has depleated his funds.

“desolate”

With no answer to the seemingly impossible question, and no money left to his name, Brad finds himself facing the black abyss of desolation.

“weakness in the legs” and “balance” and “slurred speech”

With physical and mental health failing him, Brad reverts to the natural state of a philosopher in the wild: the hobo.

“i paralleli!”

Ai Carumba!

[curtain]